I Hate Golf
(Man, I Love This Game)
Well, I never dreamed this golfin’ bug woulda put its bite on me,
I used to say, heck, I wouldn’t play if they let me play for free.
Now I’d give 15 paychecks just to straighten out my slice,
Pay a pretty penny just to hear my buddy Benny say,
“Man Earl, that shot was nice!”
I Hate Golf, I hate golf, I hate golf, NICE SHOT!,
Man I love this game, whew!
Now what’s up with this Tiger Woods, how can he hit the ball so long?
I’s raised up from good farm-stout stock, like to think I’m just as strong.
So I stood in my bedroom mirror tryin’ to imitate his action…
Marge come home and found me out on the floor, I spent 13 weeks in traction…
I hate golf, I hate golf…………………
So now I’m back out here on the links, tryin’ to re-invent my game,
Benny says my backswing would make a rabid dog look tame,
Now watchin’ these guys on TV may be helpin’ me a little,
To see Old Jack with his bad back still hit it 300 right down the middle
(how’s he do that?)
I hate golf, I hate golf………………….
So when you spy some local linksters, now don’t be too quick to judge
Don’t look on them with pity, as through weeds and woods they trudge,
That old golfin’ bug’s got a powerful bite, snuck right up on me it’s true….
And the very first time you swing down and through-oohh
And then you go ahead and you follow thru-oooohhh
He’s gonna done put his bite on you tooooo----oooooh, yeah he will…
I hate golf, I hate golf, I hate golf, Nice Shot!,
Man, I love this game, whew!
